Hello All- I'm baaaacckk. I went to my son's 6th grade orientation. Fun..fun..how I love standing in lines waiting for schedules, pictures, oh ..and don't forget the locker combination. Oh how I wish these times would never end.
Before I had a complete breakdown, I headed off alone to get his school supplies. LOOK AT ME!!! Going early!!! I can now look down on others (like me-usually) who wait until the last minute, swearing, screaming...clawing through the isle's in a mad panic. I feel like Mrs. Cleaver looking down on Rosanne....YES!!!
What could go wrong? Well, a couple of things.
His list said ," Two 1 subject NON-PERFORATED notebooks"..how hard can this be?
After 30 minutes of clearing through sixty 1 subject notebooks I hit the wall. Literally. This item does not exist. Every damn notebook had those little holes in the binding. EVERY SINGLE ONE. I knew I had to wave the white flag when I threw down a green Mead notebook followed by a ,"Damnit it to hell! Is this some sort of joke??!". Only to hear a righteous 4 year old say," Mommy, that lady said a very bad word".
I decided I would move on to the ruler. A woman and a 7 yr old Boy Wonder were looking for similar item. Conversation went as follows:
Mom: I can't believe you need a protractor in 2nd grade
Son: What does it look like?
Mom: You don't know?
Mom: Well, you will. I guess kids in HIGHLY CAPABLE need things like protractors..ha ha ha ha!
Ok. For those lucky enough to not understand Highly Capable do let me explain. I had no clue what this was when we moved to this area 8 years ago. At my eldest's soccer practice (she was 8) these women were yapping about their gifted Highly Capable kids....notice...gifted. I inquired about what Highly Capable was and found it was for the children who are so superior to us mere earthling's that they need their own class of excelled learning. When asked if my Minions were going into the program I clearly stated, "No, my children are in the Dumb Ass Capable class".. Which I then threw my head back in a loud guffaw...unfortunately I was the only one. Don't get me wrong, it's not all horrid. I have had a couple kids who have taken classes from HC. I don't tell other people, as I don't find it that entertaining. The name is hideous...Highly Capable...who came up with that???
I pride myself on being a non-bragging Mother. When eldest was in 7th grade she came home with one of those hideous ,"Proud Parent of a Honor School Student" bumper stickers.
As she was peeling off the back of the sticker I managed to scream,"STOOOOOOOOPPPP!!! DROP IT NOW!!!".
Me: It's embarrassing..
Eldest: I earned it, everyone will know I made HONORS.
Me: I'll buy you a kitten if you throw it in the trash and we never mention this again.
Eldest: We go now...
Point is , Highly Capable bragging is similar to Select Soccer bragging. You had nothing to do with it. Chances are you skirted through school on a wing and a prayer. These are not your brilliant genes being passed on so calm down.
Now, back to the single notebook nightmare..
I was sick of looking for this non existent artifact. I was convinced the school district had it out for me. So I did the unthinkable...this is tough to type.....NO JUDGING!!
I got on FaceBook..and expressed my angst. I KNOW. I have blogged and blogged about the hell that is FaceBrag or Dear Facebook. I was out of control. Here is my sin........love me.