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Sunday, September 25, 2011

The Divine Miss EYM...

Typical Sun morn text between EYM and I.


ME: Hay. I learned that when hubby brings you brkfast the right response is " thnku " not " walk faster next time ". Who knew?


EYM :

Poor Todd, I showered him with compliments & total worship. He can suck it up.

This is a example of a typical conversation between the divine Miss Elisabeth and myself. She puts the "Fab" in fabulous...and she will confirm that if asked. Sadly, EYM suffered the same catholic school upbringing that I did. Her older sister was in my grade..and wedding...and is just as fabulous but manages to be the adult of us...although, I would like to think I add a little spice..or anxiety to Miss Cori's life..ahem....anyhow, both these gals are one of the few peeps I have known since girl hood...They also know a hell of a lot about me that I don't want you to know.  I need to keep it away so I must be kind.
 
EYM is married, no kids by choice . The Saint..I mean husband..goes by BigDaddy. He is cool, quiet and has really limited his exasperated sighs to minimum  lately...you go BigDaddy.
 
I am 6 ft tall..So is EYM..it is nice to have friend of heighth..as she can tell me where to buy cloths as  I am ,"dressing myself challenged". Anyhow...EYM works at UW bookstore and I don't care how tired she is, she has a cool ass job. She's a buyer, and does something involving the parities for cool people (Kathy Griffin..still bitter...I am learning to forgive lack of invite) and gets all kinds of discounts.
 
A couple of years ago she voiced wanting to do 5k's or something like that...we signed up for St Patty's day in Seattle...true to form..the weather SUCKED...rain and wind..too painful to recall.  Now EYM wants to go to Arizona for some 4.2 mile crap.  BigDaddy said no as he has never seen her run one step.. Move forward to Irongirl on Labor Day 2011..the only day this lousy summer hit 90 degrees...Now..I am fragile, I can't run with blaring sun. I will vomit..2 things went wrong from beginning. We discovered there was no disease..that's right..I was running for freaking girl power...what in the hell???!!! Second...our schwag bags were tampons and calcium tablets..and there were wall to wall women. I don't like wall to wall women...they irritate the living hell out of me..the Woo Hooing, makeup...so glad I wore my old Byiatch soccer jersey. Off we go..now..technically I was going to walk with EYM and cool buddies..the heat..I had to beat the heat. Then a AHA moment hit..I will take EYM's timepiece and run ..when website shows results..BAM..Arizona here we come. It was painful, I had no IPOD..did I tell you I hate running?? HATE IT..Sun has hit full force..I can't focus..woman behind me is breathing like a rapist...my time piece tags are clicking..cop who is trying to corral us to stay in the cones is really pissing me off...I have 1/2 a mile..nausea hits...now..I can walk and weep or sprint and get this crap over with...I SPRINT..and proceed to dry heave behind tree...
 
Got on Facebook..posted website time (EYM name fully showing my time)...paste it on to BigDaddy's page and waaaalllaaaaaa! His response......" LIARS!!!!"...damnnnnnnnn it. It was worth a try.
 
During a drunken wine evening...conversing through fbook..I talked EYM into entering HellRun in Oct 1 (next wkend)...she was motivated...here we go...look at us..we have our super hero names and roarrrrring to go...ummmm...until this week.... Our EYM thought she may be striken with Strip Throat that apparently is making the rounds at UW...she professed she had fever, chills...death was near..then the next night accidentally texted she was having beer with BigDaddy and friends...I sent her a rather harsh video of Hellrun..Here is how the FBook post went...ask your children to go in other room..not for the faint of heart...
 
Elisabeth Yonker Myers EFFFFFFFFFFF YOU!


.Lindsey : Strep throat my asssss!!

.Lindsey : EARN IT BIT%$!!!


Elisabeth Yonker Myers EFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFF YOOOOUUUUUUUUUU

Elisabeth Yonker Myers I KILLS YOUSSSS

Lindsey  LOOK AT YOU!!!!! LOOK AT YOU!!! Bracing through the pain to respond..must be the germs of your STREP THROAT that is giving you such angst...what would Mr. Frank think of his Mummy's naughty naughty language...think of the babies(dogs).

Lindsey  YOUR BREAKIN MY HEARRRTTT RIGHT HERE>>>BREAKIN IT RIGHT HERES..!

FYI- we watch NJ Housewhores.. I know it's crap..I know!! However, these Mob guys ..umm..contractors kill me...we quote them often..who are you to judge?

That is our friendship in a nutshell...she makes my stressful ..insane..driving to far away countries for 12 yr old soccer games life worth it...I appreciate her friendship very much ..and hope to GOD our husband's don't wise up and smother us in our sleep.
                                                          Me and the Divine Miss EYM

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