Sit back enjoy...give your opinions...have a laugh...but be nice..or your outta here...:)

Monday, May 28, 2012

Memorial Day and Prologue Crime Books

Hello All- Happy Memorial Day!

Well, it is a lovely 60ish muggy typical Washington day. Before I sound like Debbie Downer we did have a heck of a Saturday where I (hope your sitting), I  burned the back of my neck reading my kindle on the porch..it was lovely....

Even with the  1,000 books I have on my kindle , 1,000 is just not enough. In my sun drenched laziness I cruised to the ole Pixelink.com . So many free books folks. I call it porn for reading tramps.

Came across this cool retro- like cover. Well, of course I must have it. Went to Amazon site..reviews were 50/50 (authors..reviews are EVERYTHING, EVERYTHING!). Still- book was free, and the cover was as cool as you can get (please refer to previous post on  why you must sell your soul to the Devil for a decent cover).

'One slut deserves another

While her husband was away, Rita Sharpe would play. Sometimes with her stupid but strong gardener. More often with slick Norman Williams. Yet she was no worse than bosomy Sandra Thomas! Sandra slyly cheated with practically every man who came along . . . not excepting Rita’s own rugged spouse . . .

His name was Fred, and he was perfectly willing to make the most of a wife—anybody’s wife. He could not foresee that thanks to smooth Norman, the cozy situation would explode into a frenzy of hate and wild brutality. In the end Fred was forced to deny both Rita and Sandra—and gamble his life on the sinful need of still another unfaithful woman!' (Amazon description)

Whoa...wait, the description makes it sound like some cheap soap. One slut deserves another??  FAAAANNTASTIC!!! This book was crazy. There were evil, no conscience Diva's, there were sweet, stupid morons and there were housewhores..wives..whores...whatever.

There is murder, insanity and a lot of fun. The time is 1950's and the book is descriptive enough to get a clear picture of scene and time.

Swashbuckling Pirate Smoochies...there is enough smut to keep you in Fabio grossness heaven.

For Sr. and Father Prude- brace yourself. It's a lot of before, but fades out during, so you'll only feel the need to say half a rosary.

Long ago I watched Payton Place-  old movie. I had to see what was so racy. Much to my surprise, considering the time it was made, it was extremely ...sleazy.

This book was written in 1958 by Orrie Hitt.

There is a website dedicated to this author's books called "Orrie Hitt : The Shabby Shakespeare of Vintage Sleazecore".

Awesome. Truly.

The second book ( I paid good money for) from from Prologue books is...drum roll....


These were nice kids, model kids. They didn’t wear leather jackets and roam the streets in “wolf packs”; they didn’t steal and mug for dope. For kids, they were well mannered and quiet. They were attractive and nicely dressed. You’d have welcomed them as next-door neighbors.


one raped

one murdered

one killed by fire

What got into them? What dark thoughts tormented them when they were alone at night? '
(Amazon description)

Dope?? Hee hee...

This book was written in 1959 by Vin Packer (also known as M.E. Kerr, Ann Aldrich, and Marijane Meaker.)

Think Rebel without a Cause + Quentin Tarantino = The Twisted Ones.

This book was fantastic. There are three characters who have one person in common.
Mommy Dearest.

These women threw Dr. Spock's baby book to the side and read, "How to be THE ONLY woman in your son's life" by Mother, of Norman Bates.

The story was crazy, bothersome and twisted. Yet like a bad car accident you can't look away.

I strongly recommend looking into Prologue's books on Amazon. There are tons to choose from. I am sure I will manage to read every single one. Great way to spend a weekend.

Most importantly, today is Memorial Day so please  remember to give thanks today to all the service men and women , past, present and future. Today is their day. Thank you.

Friday, May 11, 2012

'Run' Blake Crouch

HELLo All...Notice how I emphasize hell.

I type this from my couch in fetal position. Farmer's market opened last night and my Kettle Krack (corn) addiction was awakened.

Hi, my name is Lindsey and I am a Kettle Krack addict..Hi Lindsey......

I love the Krack. It is the perfect mix of sweet and salty. The problem? It starts with my stomach. After I spend about 20 minutes whining on the unfairness of my digestive system I proceed to fall into a deep set coma. Not one of those Snow White comas, more like meth addict coma.

How is that for a visual? Here is a sad story from my past...get comfortable, put your judgement aside (hahaha- like I could do that) and listen..

Last summer I took Middle Child to her soccer practice. It was a warm Thursday eve, and I was sick and tired of driving to soccer practices. Wake, drive Brats to schools, work, run, drive to practice, sleep, rinse and repeat.

I grabbed my Precious (kindle..for my new worshippers) and parked my car. I realized Kettle Krack was a block away..I deserve it, I need it, I EARNED IT!! Off I drove (already ran folks, driving from here on) and grabbed the Krack. I was told to please step back as oil does burn. Alrighty. Face out of big pail thing. 

I pull back into field, stay in car (seriously- soccer parents and I ..no go) and grabbed kindle. Crunch, crunch, crunch...then  before I knew it, there was a knock at the window. One of those Elitist Soccer Dads was knocking on my window, waking me up.

 I was passed out, kindle on face with Krack all over my shirt.

I knew I needed help. Trust me folks, my reputation hangs in a balance as it at soccer events.

Unfortunately, Middle Child has tryouts this weekend, so I just need a little Krack to get me through. Slap that number on her back and toss her to wolves of select soccer...EARN MOMMY'S LOVE!

I swear, I will go cold turkey next weekend..wait..Eldest Child has try outs...get back to you in August.

Here is to another year of fun filled stress. Driving to hell and back, dealing with parents who scream at their kids to run faster -even though they are completely out of breathe from walking to car to field.

Here is to the eye rolling, the ," I HATE SOCCER. THIS SUCKS!!!!" tantrums to FireDaddy.

Here is to the depleting bank account, $500 ensembles and the ,"It was better when we were the one's playing!!!".

Here is to another year of making a occasional friend who rolls their eyes with me, sneaks over a beer, laughs at parents who wear matching soccer ensembles.  

Here is to my Middle Child who is such a good kid and deserves to do this because she wants to. Who spends the hours in the car with me telling me all she wants to do in life and forcing me to listen to her devotion of some hideous teen werewolf name Jacob.

I only hope someday you have a great kid like yourself, who really wants to play select soccer.

 Enjoy the drive

Now..on to my review...

5 D A Y S A G O

A rash of bizarre murders swept the country…

Senseless. Brutal. Seemingly unconnected.

A cop walked into a nursing home and unloaded his weapons on elderly and staff alike.

A mass of school shootings.

Prison riots of unprecedented brutality.

Mind-boggling acts of violence in every state.

4 D A Y S A G O

The murders increased ten-fold…

3 D A Y S A G O

The President addressed the nation and begged for calm and peace…

2 D A Y S A G O

The killers began to mobilize…


All the power went out…


They’re reading the names of those to be killed on the Emergency Broadcast System. You are listening over the battery-powered radio on your kitchen table, and they’ve just read yours.

Your name is Jack Colclough. You have a wife, a daughter, and a young son. You live in Albuquerque, New Mexico. People are coming to your house to kill you and your family. You don’t know why, but you don’t have time to think about that any more.

You only have time to….

(amazon description)

I have had this on my kindle for months. I , as you know, am a severe cult member of J.A. Konrath's Jack Daniels series (previous reviews, keep up). Mr. Crouch has occasionally joined in on this series.
In fact, my favorite books in the series are the Konrath/Crouch books.

I tend to notice these books are slightly, scarier? I am a closeted pansy. I admit it. Vampires (gross), Zombies, ghosts and ghouls, bring em. Serial murderers?
Stay behind the yellow line...preferably behind bars in a far away country.

If you are a reader of class and refinement such as I, you would know how terrifying Crouch's
Andrew Z. Thomas/Luther Kite character is..

This book was recommended to me by Steven Konkoly , author of 'The Jarkarta Pandemic'. Loved his book so I gave it a whirl.

Monday night I started the book. 1:30am I forced myself to put it down.  5am had to get up. After snapping at anything with a pulse due to lack of sleep..I continued to  read through breakfast, bus stop and lunch.
 I was glued.

Something has occurred to cause folks to become killing machines. Looting, killing and all kinds of terror. I want to just spill out what happened...but I CAN'T.  The story follows a family who is running for their lives, literally.

For the squeamish, well, it's bad. It is. Honestly, I probably fell asleep around 2am as I laid in bed wondering what every noise was.

Here is where Crouch redeems himself and keeps wimps like me going. This family is fairly normal .They are not superheros. Dad isn't John McClane (Die Hard reference for the infants out there).  I was uncomfortable reading scenes where the family has gone without food  for 5 days. When the kids are crying from being cold and tired it is brutal.  This book is written in such a way you feel like you are there.

When bad guys show up it is a adrenaline rush. When the family is separated it is brutal. The constant unknown is terrifying. There were a couple times I had to put kindle down  and get a breather. It's that unsettling.

To those who are convinced only a sparkly vampire can give you an adrenaline rush, then I don't ask, I demand,  put it down and read this.
Right now. 

I could go on but I am convinced I would ruin this for all. This is a book that I will definitely stay with me for a while.

I have just started to read Crouch's 'Desert Places'...it tells how Andrew Z. Thomas became such a lovable guy. It is terrifying...the waitress...gah..I made it 1/4 way through and emailed Steven Konkoly this morning with a ," I don't think I can do this!".

I have decided to continue during the daylight hours at Middle Child's tryouts tomorrow, Serial Killers have nothing on Psycho Soccer Parents. ...

Definite 5 stars on this one..

Thursday, May 3, 2012

'The Cinderella Blues' by Obren Bokich

Hello Minions.

It is Friday -Eve. It can't come soon enough. What are your plans?

Honestly, I don't care, for I have none.

I know this, I have no soccer. That's right, no soccer games. I am free. Well until Tryouts start on May 18th, then I am doomed.

Another year of fun, fun, fun awaits. Oh what ever shall come? Traveling to exotic lands like Spokane? Or dealing with Super Sport Stud Parents... With so much to look forward to it is a wonder I have not slipped into a deep depression with out the fun for a weekend.

There has been rumors of a tournament in Vegas next Thanksgiving. The positive? One less family holiday to deal with. Can't beat that.

Shall we point out the negatives? Oh where shall I begin?

1.  I hate to fly, hate it. I once saw a airplane mechanic use Gorilla Glue to stick  something on the wing prior to take off. Seriously.         

2.  Money... to go to Vegas for U-16 girls soccer. If you can't see that as a issue then remove yourself from my blog immediately.

3.  Going to Vegas with 16 year old girls. Why do I even need to explain this to you?

4.  Someone said I would chaperone? Unless the hotel doors can be locked from the outside only, then I'm out.

5.  This is a college recruiting deal. I can't handle the atmosphere, I can't. Plus, what am I doing there?  I am much to young to have a kid that would need to be looked at by college recruiters, right??    

6.  It's Vegas. I love Tequila, but Tequila does not love me back. Enough said. Child witness's to this would not be appreciated.

So I will enjoy this weekend. Hopefully...now on to the review!

‘The Cinderella Blues (Thuh Sin'-dur-rel'-uh Bluze)n.

1.The phenomena whereby otherwise intelligent, capable, successful professional women are convinced they need rescuing by a prince’ (Amazon Description- not much, I know)

This story contains no sparkly vampires or over muscled alpha werewolves. Mind readers need not apply.

In all my years (not so many so hush up), I have NEVER used this description. This book was a delight.

Kat is a 30 yr old who has what I consider Cinderella Syndrome. She believed Disney was telling her how life would work. Wait and prince charming shows up. You know the drill. For the next fifty+ years every moment will be a love fest of such grand proportion you shall have no worries from this day on.

You just have to suffer till he shows. Do remember folks, if it wasn’t for Walt I never would have learned what,” chronic frozen state” meant….but I digress…

This woman gets in car accidents constantly due to her wandering imagination. These daydreams go from Swashbuckling Pirates to James Bond…and reality sneaks in, and it is FUNNY. Her bus trips alone are hysterical and sadly, familiar.

You know who you are creepy man on Metro Bus from 1992, I hope you are still limping.

She invests time in her attractive boss, which has an interesting finale to of course the Prince. He isn’t the obvious Prince, but that is what makes the story so fun.

There are some interesting family dynamics, and the possibility of a ghost (it’s sweet so back off).

Bodice Ripping Swashbucklers, not a lot of hot and heavy in here but enough to keep you sickos entertained.

Prudes, you can skip confession , just say one rosary.

The story was a little slow to start but hang in there. There are some serious LOL moments…lots of fun in this one.

Tuesday, May 1, 2012

Family Case of Murder (A Lacy Steele Mystery, Book 3) by Vanessa Gray Bartal and Rebecca Tocheff and so much more...

Hola Worshippers...

Day 2 of avoiding running...why? I have been reading Vanessa's dang books, that's why!! I have many..many future sleepless nights ahead of me...

So, a little background on me....I went to catholic school for 10 yrs which managed to turn me into the Largest Religon Phobe in the history of religon . Phobe,  it's a word...well, it worked when I used it playing Words with Friends... (YOUR GOIN DOWN T.L!!!). ...

I didn't say I didn't believe, but I didn't say I did. Don't get all righteous with your pious selves..settle down..

I have been known to take a pic of Kettle Corn at the farmer's market and text it to Friend Tarra with the caption," Stand behind me Satan!!!!!!"....

So given this attitude, books with the mere mention of Christian literature makes me cringe like a Vampire rising with the sun (non sparkly version of course).

I found Lacy Steele books on my pixelink site....Here is a summary of her latest and greatest....

'Lacy Steele has been dispatched to the Hamptons with the tall order to make amends with her estranged sister, Riley, and her ex-fiancé, Robert. The time has come to decide which of her friends to take as her date: Tosh or Jason. As if to add to her already high stress level, she'll be spending the weekend with Robert's certifiable family, and his aunt has declared a ban on dessert.

Sugarless and forced to deal with Riley's never-ceasing drama, Robert's inappropriate advances, and his crazy family's odd behavior, Lacy thinks things can't get any worse until she becomes the suspect in a murder. Now she must unravel the clues to clear her name, but the only way to do that is to become a target herself. (amazon description)'
Now, there isn't a huge religious over tone in this series. One of the guys (Tosh) is a Pastor - which is hysterical. The characters are realistic, someone always gets killed but this author is funny. The dialouge is witty without being obnoxious.
For you noir loving, zombie, body parts , my life is going to end fans...COME BACK. This is lighter, funnier and just a great way to relax....God knows I could stand to laugh more. So lighten up. Heck, grab her book, deck yourself out in black,  read with a candle in a dark room  if you don't want to completely give up your creepy side. I am nothing if not accomidating to all.  
The only thing missing is sex and swearing...now don't run to your Fabio covered nightmare novels you smoochy freaks. There is enough nonsense to keep you happy. You won't miss it, that's the great part. I didn't even notice until I looked up the author and it was pointed out in a review.
She has other series. A lot to choose from . Some are more serious, some more fun. How would I know you ask????? Well, I have read 5 books in the last 6 days that's why! Oh the humiliation!!
Gunner (soldier series) did speak about religon more freely than Lacy Steele books. I didn't cringe or get flashbacks of Sr. Joanne, it was well done without making me feel like I was being preached at (or living in fear of being sent to the spanking machine...code for ,"paddle".).
Give them a whirl.
WARNING:  Try to sleep at some point...they are addicting.