I type this from my couch in fetal position. Farmer's market opened last night and my Kettle Krack (corn) addiction was awakened.
Hi, my name is Lindsey and I am a Kettle Krack addict..Hi Lindsey......
I love the Krack. It is the perfect mix of sweet and salty. The problem? It starts with my stomach. After I spend about 20 minutes whining on the unfairness of my digestive system I proceed to fall into a deep set coma. Not one of those Snow White comas, more like meth addict coma.
How is that for a visual? Here is a sad story from my past...get comfortable, put your judgement aside (hahaha- like I could do that) and listen..
Last summer I took Middle Child to her soccer practice. It was a warm Thursday eve, and I was sick and tired of driving to soccer practices. Wake, drive Brats to schools, work, run, drive to practice, sleep, rinse and repeat.
I grabbed my Precious (kindle..for my new worshippers) and parked my car. I realized Kettle Krack was a block away..I deserve it, I need it, I EARNED IT!! Off I drove (already ran folks, driving from here on) and grabbed the Krack. I was told to please step back as oil does burn. Alrighty. Face out of big pail thing.
I pull back into field, stay in car (seriously- soccer parents and I ..no go) and grabbed kindle. Crunch, crunch, crunch...then before I knew it, there was a knock at the window. One of those Elitist Soccer Dads was knocking on my window, waking me up.
I was passed out, kindle on face with Krack all over my shirt.
I knew I needed help. Trust me folks, my reputation hangs in a balance as it at soccer events.
Unfortunately, Middle Child has tryouts this weekend, so I just need a little Krack to get me through. Slap that number on her back and toss her to wolves of select soccer...EARN MOMMY'S LOVE!
I swear, I will go cold turkey next weekend..wait..Eldest Child has try outs...get back to you in August.
Here is to another year of fun filled stress. Driving to hell and back, dealing with parents who scream at their kids to run faster -even though they are completely out of breathe from walking to car to field.
Here is to the eye rolling, the ," I HATE SOCCER. THIS SUCKS!!!!" tantrums to FireDaddy.
Here is to the depleting bank account, $500 ensembles and the ,"It was better when we were the one's playing!!!".
Here is to another year of making a occasional friend who rolls their eyes with me, sneaks over a beer, laughs at parents who wear matching soccer ensembles.
Here is to my Middle Child who is such a good kid and deserves to do this because she wants to. Who spends the hours in the car with me telling me all she wants to do in life and forcing me to listen to her devotion of some hideous teen werewolf name Jacob.
I only hope someday you have a great kid like yourself, who really wants to play select soccer.
Enjoy the drive
Now..on to my review...
5 D A Y S A G O
A rash of bizarre murders swept the country…
Senseless. Brutal. Seemingly unconnected.
A cop walked into a nursing home and unloaded his weapons on elderly and staff alike.
A mass of school shootings.
Prison riots of unprecedented brutality.
Mind-boggling acts of violence in every state.
4 D A Y S A G O
The murders increased ten-fold…
3 D A Y S A G O
The President addressed the nation and begged for calm and peace…
2 D A Y S A G O
The killers began to mobilize…
Y E S T E R D A Y
All the power went out…
T O N I G H T
They’re reading the names of those to be killed on the Emergency Broadcast System. You are listening over the battery-powered radio on your kitchen table, and they’ve just read yours.
Your name is Jack Colclough. You have a wife, a daughter, and a young son. You live in Albuquerque, New Mexico. People are coming to your house to kill you and your family. You don’t know why, but you don’t have time to think about that any more.
You only have time to….
R U N
I have had this on my kindle for months. I , as you know, am a severe cult member of J.A. Konrath's Jack Daniels series (previous reviews, keep up). Mr. Crouch has occasionally joined in on this series.
In fact, my favorite books in the series are the Konrath/Crouch books.
I tend to notice these books are slightly, scarier? I am a closeted pansy. I admit it. Vampires (gross), Zombies, ghosts and ghouls, bring em. Serial murderers?
Stay behind the yellow line...preferably behind bars in a far away country.
If you are a reader of class and refinement such as I, you would know how terrifying Crouch's
Andrew Z. Thomas/Luther Kite character is..
This book was recommended to me by Steven Konkoly , author of 'The Jarkarta Pandemic'. Loved his book so I gave it a whirl.
Monday night I started the book. 1:30am I forced myself to put it down. 5am had to get up. After snapping at anything with a pulse due to lack of sleep..I continued to read through breakfast, bus stop and lunch.
I was glued.
Something has occurred to cause folks to become killing machines. Looting, killing and all kinds of terror. I want to just spill out what happened...but I CAN'T. The story follows a family who is running for their lives, literally.
For the squeamish, well, it's bad. It is. Honestly, I probably fell asleep around 2am as I laid in bed wondering what every noise was.
Here is where Crouch redeems himself and keeps wimps like me going. This family is fairly normal .They are not superheros. Dad isn't John McClane (Die Hard reference for the infants out there). I was uncomfortable reading scenes where the family has gone without food for 5 days. When the kids are crying from being cold and tired it is brutal. This book is written in such a way you feel like you are there.
When bad guys show up it is a adrenaline rush. When the family is separated it is brutal. The constant unknown is terrifying. There were a couple times I had to put kindle down and get a breather. It's that unsettling.
To those who are convinced only a sparkly vampire can give you an adrenaline rush, then I don't ask, I demand, put it down and read this.
I could go on but I am convinced I would ruin this for all. This is a book that I will definitely stay with me for a while.
I have just started to read Crouch's 'Desert Places'...it tells how Andrew Z. Thomas became such a lovable guy. It is terrifying...the waitress...gah..I made it 1/4 way through and emailed Steven Konkoly this morning with a ," I don't think I can do this!".
I have decided to continue during the daylight hours at Middle Child's tryouts tomorrow, Serial Killers have nothing on Psycho Soccer Parents. ...
Definite 5 stars on this one..