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Tuesday, July 16, 2013

'Pushed To Far' by Ann Von Peterson (intro by Blake Crouch)

Hello All-
 
Here I am on my day off. I just recently acquired a day off after working 5 days a week for past eons..
I've been so excited, and now, I have no clue what to do. Cleaning? Pleaaase...beneath me.
Besides, it gives FireDaddy something to do when he gets home from the station tomorrow when I head off to the Place Where I Spend My Days (that pays me).
 
Summer soccer tourn's have begun...Yippee.

 Last weekend I took Middle child (she is 14) to tourn. For the love of God and all that is Holy..who the hell decided on a 8am Saturday game? To make matters worse, the COACH (Satan) wanted us there at 7:15am for warm ups. That's right my Worshippers, I had to leave the house at 6:30 ...AM!!!  What hell is this I ask you???
 
FireDaddy got up when I got up. I am a somewhat kind person. I can fake it with the best of them if needed. However, there is one time of the day I can't be polite or worry about your feelings.  This is known as ...wake of dawn. Sadly, FireDaddy is a yapping fool in the morning. He is up, bouncy and smiling ear to ear...let me give you an example of our early morning conversation.
 
FIREDADDY: Oh it's going to be warm out!
 
ME: Shut up.
 
FIREDADDY: Gwyn has all her uniform stuff ready right??
 
ME: Seriously, shut up.
 
FIREDADDY: Beeee nice.....
 
ME: JEZUZ!! Go to work, YOU HAVE TO STOP TALKING!!!!
 
FIREDADDY: Beeeee nicccceee to meeeee...hay, did you pack water ???
 
ME: &^% OFF!! I WILL CUT YOU!! I WILL!
 
FIREDADDY: (sigh..) I'm abused. I'm going to tell all your friends you abuse me.
 
ME: (door slamming, muttering swear words that would make a Hit Man wince).
 
FIREDADDY: I HEARD THAT!! Watch your mouth!
 
That point I pretend he doesn't exist and get ready...and on with the day.
 
I pull into parking lot. I can pay for parking and have an 11 year old Know it All  drive me around in golf cart, as the Microsoft parents do. Or I can park in the slums with the North End folk...to the slums I go. Beautiful day, first game went well...the second is at 2pm. Great, stuck here for hours, must find something to do. Middle Child takes off with friends so I am alone. FREE!!!! Until I see my car, and the fellow North End slummers circling the lot like a buzzard circling a dying wildebeest. I can' leave!! Damnit! I will lose my spot! What could I do? Well, I could read..and read I did...
 
                              Myself and the youngest..bored to tears..day 2 soccer tourn.
 
 
 
 
 
 
  
 
 

A TOWN'S TERRIBLE SECRET

Two years ago a woman was brutally murdered, her body burned until only ash and shattered bone remained. Police Sergeant Valerie Ryker solved that case, putting psychopath Dixon Hess in prison for life, and becoming the first female police chief of her tiny Wisconsin town.

A COP'S UNFORGIVABLE MISTAKE

Then the original murder victim turns up in a frozen lake, all in one piece and only recently dead, and Val must enter a race against time. In only forty-eight hours, Hess will be set free, and he wants payback. And Val, her town, and everyone she loves are at the top of his list.

A KILLER'S NEXT VICTIM

But surviving Hess's vengeance is only part of her dilemma. For there's another killer in Lake Loyal. One who may be closer to Val than she knows...

Val will need all the help she can get, including a sexy firefighter, her dead sister's daughter, and a tough Chicago cop named Jack Daniels. Everyone has a breaking point, and Val has just reached hers.
-(from Amazon.com)
 
I became somewhat familiar with Ann Von Patterson through her collaborations with J.A. Konrath..aka Jack Daniels series. Upon looking at the cover, which I think is well done, I pre- judged this book as an Swash Buckling Cops Gone Wild story. Thank God I was wrong.
 
 
I loved the main character. She is  the first female chief of police in a small town of Wisconsin. No one seems to hate her, but she tends to lack the full respect she deserves. She isn't Lara Croft. She is raising her dead sister's teenage daughter, and has her hands full like the rest of us. 
 
A woman has turned up dead, who was supposed to be dead two years prior. Which means the killer our Heroine put away is out of prison, and he wants justice.
 
Give me Zombies, vampires (non -glittered) , ghosts what ever...serial killers? I CAN'T TAKE IT!!! I still haven't completely finished Blake Couch's Luther Kite's series..I can only do it in small sections.
 
This horrid man wants all to pay, and he has a list..I shall say no more...
 
There is a love interest who is connected to the recent victim. He's a firefighter. Yes, a firefighter. Swoon, sigh and aflutter...seriously. I really hope the author understands IF FireDaddy actually reads my blog the torment of  ,"Why firefighters are HAWT, you have it SO good" lecture I will have to endure...well, may cause SOMEONE some serious bodily harm. Frankly, how about a HAWT accountant instead? All those muscles crunching away on the calculator...no? I tried.
 
This isn't a romance folks. Not a Lifetime Movie either. It is a police- procedural.  There is a little mush for you sickos out there. For you prudes, put away your rosaries, you'll survive.
 
There is violence. The scenes are graphic but not drawn out, so I am able to sleep....
 
Oh..and my beloved Jack Daniels makes an appearance...WAHOOOOO!!!
 
Go get the book....put your sunscreen on , ignore the nonsense around you. I manage to , just ask the parental units at soccer tournaments.
 
Ready for the second in series...if you see me on the field...keep walking. Until later!

Saturday, July 6, 2013

The End of Me (The Single Lady Spy Series) by Tara Brown

Hello All-

Hope everyone is staying cool. For once Washington is proving that it is not a total loss. We have been experiencing warm weather, many days of warm weather....God help the person who whines and ruins this...HEADS WILLS ROLL!

As I am on the verge of saying goodbye to my thirties I have been noticing certian ,"rules and tips" on many magazines, talk shows and so on for women 40+. Allow me to share .....


Give it up, your time has come and gone. (Hell no, if your telling me I am stuck for eternity in the place that pays me , oh hell no)


Men your age only like women much younger (Fine with me, we don't want you anyways. Do you not realize how ridiculous you look? You don't look younger, you look older. God help the one's who start new families. Good luck staying up past 9pm for sports, plays or PTA crap- Rod Stewart, talking to you. Im sorry women over 40+ have their sh*t together. Im sorry we are much more intelligent than a 20 yr old newbie. Yes, we are harder to impress and yes we may be more picky. You 40+ guys could take a lesson from us. Until then, try not to break your hip while getting down at Sr. Frogs with Tiffany . Good luck.)

Time to get some work done (I can't even handle a paper cut, when I gave birth to 3 Brats the Dr. kept asking me if I wanted to see the head(s) coming out. Ill pass)

Botox is your friend (FireDaddy actually had botulism poisoning from a fellow nitwit FFighter- again, pass)

Don't be so outspoken (oh pleaaaze Bitch.)

Men hate short hair, it only makes you look older (First of all, do not care. Second, I have had boy short hair since I was 18 yrs old. I will continue to have it until I hopefully am elderly. It's true , some men don't care for it. However, I love it!)

If you get carded for alcohol, post and boast on Facebook, people will wither in jealousy and admiration. (Ok, technically I haven't read this. I do know it. Only 40+ women have gotten on   FaceBrag and posted about their moment in the sun of getting carded...its pathetic. I get carded all the time. Do you know why??? Because, I had to get braces again. I don't look 21, I look like a damn 13 yr old boy. Don't care for it.)

Post about how great you are on social media (Again, I made it up. Only 40+ women are posting about running times, marathon times, gym workouts and saving the world antics. It's weird and only shows the younger generation how incredibly insecure you are. So stop.I know I'm awesome, I don't need my prom date from 20+ yrs ago to tell me. Post about bar hopping or something meaningful.)

Don't admit your wrong, let it go. (Refer to the two statements above me. Admit your wrong, I made them up. Don't you feel better? I do.)

Work out and save your muscle mass. Everyone will compliment how great you look! (The days of working out for vanity are behind me. I exercise for health and to keep things working. I don't need to hear about my tush, my arms or flat stomach. As I have none of these. I refuse to be my kids problem in the later years, so I keep things working. Besides, I think I look just dandy. Don't need to hear it from anyone else.)

Watch what you say. (I just told a strange teenager at the store who was using extremely foul language at a store clerk  to ,"watch his fking language"..I even laughed at that.)

Dress for your age. (Ok, I can't fight this one completely. Is there nothing worse than watching grown women dress like Brittany Spears? Go to any beer garden this summer and sit back and cringe at the show. Now, as I sit here in my ,"Woodbury Coffee House Zombie" shirt, I realize many consider this juvenile. However, it covers , and goes beneath my belly button. Frankly the shirt is awesome and this statement is over.)

Learn how to knit, your 40! (I've been knitting since 5. I have made knitting cool. Deal with it.)

Get a cat. (No.)

Live for your children. (Ok, some aspects yes. However, you make their lives your lives. You won't let them ride their bikes at 16 to the store for fear of kidnapping. You won't tell them no as God forbid  they hate you. You folks know who you are, you know what your doing. Cut the cord. They aren't robots. You had your teenage hood, they have theirs. If you had plans and Jr says there is last minute soccer tournament, YOU DO NOT CANCEL YOUR PLANS. You teach your kids Mom is just as important as everyone else and that is how it goes...got it???!)
 
Make up tips to cover those wrinkles! (With the amount of cover up these publications tell you slap on, you might as well enlist in the armed forces. I think camouflage that snipers wear is lighter than this nonsense. Look, I have crows feet. I have the lines around my mouth starting, don't even get me started on the wrinkles between my brows. These were all fine until someone convinced us we should be ashamed. I am fairly sure I will leave all alone . You have to earn my look of glee and surprise. I would hate for botox to convince the public that it doesn't take much.)

I am sure you are wondering how this ties in with today's review...well, do let me explain....


 
 
"His death was almost the end of me.
He was still everywhere, surrounding me.
In our children's eyes, in the smell lingering in our bed, in candy bar wrappers stuffed down the side of the minivan driver door.
He was everywhere except where I needed him to be.
In my arms, kissing my lips, on the name of the deed to our house.
When his death didn't end me, the proposal from the man who owned every moment of my life, did.
My husband carried on in the places he wanted to be but I was gone the moment I agreed.
The moment I let him have me, was the end of me.

Adult 19+"-
Amazon description
 
Sorry Miss Brown, this has to be THE WORST description of the book. First, of our main character is a ex CIAish-spy. She now is 40 or almost 40 with kids, soccer and nonsense. Her so called husband gets into some trouble and dies...or does he? She is forced back into the exciting world of super spydom.
 
There is sex, really explicit sex scenes. You bodice ripping smutty smuts will love it. I am on the fence, I'm getting better, but I still cringe. Much less than I used to. Look at me! Growing and learning.
 
Violence is violent. There is some torture that is cringe worthy. There is violence against women, which is dealt with but can be rough to get through. Prepare, nothing is held back.
 
Humor- oh it is funny. I had a hate/love for our heroine' s depreciating attitude when it came to her body. Yes, post child body stacked next to 20 something sexy girl spy can make one suck it in until they pass out. On the other hand, she needs to own it with a hefty dose of F off.
 
There is the bad boy/ bad guy, who is really scary. Wasn't sure what I thought as him as I was attempting to find something endearing, which eventually I did.
 
Over all this was a fun book to read. Refreshing to read about someone who doesn't have highschool in the morning or whose parents will ground them for running off with muscular furry boy that howls. That sounded completely inappropriate. Must write it down for future use.
 
My understanding is this is to be a 9 book series which makes me happy, happy , happy.
 
Before I desert you, one other thing. As you know I am a fan (of dangerous levels) of Walking Dead. A gentleman named Bradley Egel started a charity called The Walking Hope. It is a charity for the American Cancer Society. If your through posting about marathon times and lastest gluten free recipies you'll never make, check out the page on FaceBook.
 
I don't know about you , but after giving money to a few charities then finding out not all my hard earned dollars go to the cause I became hardened . All proceeds  for shirts, sweatshirts, and tanks go to the organization. Frankly, they are just awesome looking. I went for the sweatshirt, as only the cool kids do.
 
If that doesn't get you going then look at this. A perfect model of over 40+ diviness , Melissa Mcbride (aka Carol) wearing my future sweatshirt. Look at her!!!!!!
 

 
 
Seriously, is this not the best idea?? I am so impressed with this guy. Just flat out awesome. Think about it, you can post on FaceBook  and not look like an attention whore..even better!!!!

Here is the site: teespring.com/thewalkinghope4

Bradley is working on Norman Reedus to take a pic in shirt. I am hesitant as I have seen this man's followers on Twitter. He is being sent silicone breasts implants people...and he is 44 yrs old with a average of 19 yr olds following him. I don't want to be grouped in that...I don't. I like him for his cross bow skills, yep, cross bow skills. Leave me alone.

Go get your shirt, and go get Tara Brown's book ($1.99 today, you cheapskate.)

Have a good one folks, behave but never be boring. Until we meet again!!